becoming at Home

One of the biggest roles I unknowingly signed up for the moment I became a mother is this: boundary keeper.

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had to gently, clearly, repeatedly remind people to respect the boundaries my husband and I have set for our growing family. And the part that stings the most—maybe even more than the reminders themselves—is that the people I most often have to “keep in their lane” are our parents.

Yes. The grandparents.

It both saddens and deeply annoys me when well-meaning family members impose their own beliefs and ideas on how we choose to raise our child. I understand that grandparents are excited. I truly do. Grandbabies are magical. They’re squishy, adorable, and smell like heaven and Johnson & Johnson.

But here’s the question I keep coming back to:
Why does excitement so often turn into entitlement? Because being excited does not cancel out the need to respect boundaries.

My biggest gripe in all of this? Social media.

There are many kinds of social media “sharers.” Some people use it as a digital journal—posting every milestone, mood, and meal. Some use it simply to stay connected with loved ones far away. And some fall somewhere in between.

My husband and I? We technically have social media (Facebook and Instagram), but we are rarely on it—and we post even less. My husband uses it to watch gaming reels and find recipes. I use it to keep up with my favorite K-pop artist (G-Dragon, Big Bang—don’t judge) and occasionally connect with family and friends.

But overall? We’re not really there.

So when we had our son, we set one very clear, very simple rule with our family:

“Please do not post our child’s photo on social media.
If you do post him, his face must be blurred or blocked—and we need to know about it first.
We are uncomfortable with his face being plastered online, especially since we don’t actively use social media and can’t regulate where it goes.”

That’s it. Not ten rules. Not a handbook. One boundary.

Here’s the thing about boundaries:
It does not matter whether you understand them.
It does not matter whether you agree with them.
Your only job is to respect them. That’s it.

If you are a halfway decent human being, you respect boundaries. If you are a grandparent—someone entrusted with love, wisdom, and support—then respecting the parents’ rules should be non-negotiable.

Grandparents: please, please have clear conversations with your children about what is and isn’t okay when it comes to posting grandchildren on social media. Ask questions. Clarify expectations. Don’t assume. Don’t test limits. Don’t “forget.”

On the flip side—because this goes both ways—if you do see parents who choose to post their children on social media:
For the love of all things good and holy, leave them alone.

Don’t comment. Don’t shame. Don’t offer unsolicited opinions disguised as concern. Stop. Just stop. Everyone is doing the best they can with the information, convictions, and responsibilities they have.

So, let’s all agree to this: Let’s stay in our respective lanes. Let’s worry about our own children—not someone else’s.

And grandparents—I know you’re excited about the cute grandbabies. Truly. But you already had your turn raising babies. This season is about support, not control. Guidance, not override.

Breaking rules to be the “cool” grandparent doesn’t make you cool.
It makes things harder. And honestly? It’s kind of lame.

At the end of the day, boundaries are not walls meant to keep people out. They’re guardrails meant to keep families healthy, relationships intact, and trust preserved. Respecting them doesn’t mean you love us less—it proves that you love us well.

And that’s all we’re really asking for.