becoming at Home

When we made our move to our new home, my husband and I were still having those on-and-off conversations about my official “employment status.” He was all for me being a stay-at-home mom, but he kindly asked that if I truly didn’t want to just be home, I should at least take a six-month break from working—just to settle into our new life without the rush of finding a new job.

I, of course, did not like that plan.

Every time he brought it up, I would immediately counter with, “Well, I could always get a part-time job… or even better, a PRN job!” (I’m an RN, by the way.) That way, I could have the best of both worlds—home 95% of the time (which I really do love), and working the other 5%, earning a humble paycheck. It wasn’t really about the money; I just wanted to keep up my nursing skills in case I decided to go back in the future. My husband saw my point and supported my “plan.”

Soon enough, I found myself deep in job boards—searching, applying, refreshing my inbox. During nap times, bed times, bathroom breaks, walks… I was consumed. I really wanted to get a job.

What I thought would be an easy process turned out to be anything but. Rejection after rejection.

Before I continue, let me share something: during this season, our prayers often sounded like this—
“Lord, please close doors that are not for us and lead us to the ones You want us to walk through.”

So… were all those rejections a sign from God?

Looking back, I have to laugh a little—because honestly, I was making it hard for any employer to say yes. I was only available on weekends, preferred day shifts, and could only work one day a week. I wasn’t trying to be difficult; that was truly all the time I had to give. Add in the fact that I barely had a year of nursing experience—nine months on a med-surg floor and a few more in a clinic—and, well… it made sense that I got rejected.

Then one day, as I sat reflecting on yet another “Thank you, but…” email, I felt a still, small voice whisper in my heart:

“You already know your availability is limited. Do you really think filling up that small window of time with work outside the home will be healthy for you—or your family? Will you even have time for anything else?”

Good point, God.

After weeks of applying, reading rejection letters, and praying for “a sign,” I finally realized—God had already spoken.

He was tired of my halfhearted yes.

He has called me to be a wife, a mother, and—on top of that—a stay-at-home parent. Someone who would be the main point of contact when it comes to shaping and teaching our son the way he should go. Someone who makes our house a home.

And yet, there I was saying, “Yes, God! I can do that… but I can get a job too.”

What I saw as being logical, productive, and diligent, He saw as halfhearted. I felt Him gently asking,

“Why do you undermine the role I’ve given you? It’s not an easy one. Why take on more?”

That hit deep. Conviction washed over me. It kept me up at night. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I found myself in tears—apologizing to God, to my husband, and to my son.

So I made a decision.
No more Indeed.
No more daydreaming about clocking in somewhere else.
No more pursuing jobs just to soothe my sense of purpose.

Instead, every time I feel that urge to “look,” I pray. I read my Bible. I lean into the calling I’ve been given.

I’m going all in.

Despite what my emotions may say, I’m choosing to fully embrace what God has called me to do in this season—to be a stay-at-home wife and mother.

I could keep worrying about what the future might look like for an RN-turned-SAHM…
or, I can focus on now—on creating a home filled with peace, love, and purpose.

And that’s exactly what I intend to do.